Dave Trouser
HELLO I AM MENTALLY ILL AND I TOUCH PUPPIES INAPPROPRIATELY

Smell of wee rating: 92.0%
Closet homosexuality rating: 57.1%
Votes: 666

Master of Turnips
LOL I'm not funny, LOL no one likes me LOL I can't get any attention so I'll just be racist LOL jews

Smell of wee rating: 98.9%
Closet homosexuality rating: 64.4%
Votes: 320

Ding
^^hihi stupid hat etc

Smell of wee rating: 93.0%
Closet homosexuality rating: 0.2%
Votes: 217

SexFace
Perenially unpopular self-styled "laydeez man", held in near-universal contempt by anyone with a sense of humour. Possible puppy molester. Approach with caution.

Smell of wee rating: 76.4%
Closet homosexuality rating: 93.2%
Votes: 143

Friz
Tedious attention-whore, instigator and perpetuator of humourless threadrushes. Shows a fawning desperation to appear on the popular page. Is an OMG Stoodent.

Smell of wee rating: 75.0%
Closet homosexuality rating: 78.8%
Votes: 46